An *extra* day? A WHOLE extra day?

What am I supposed to do with a whole 'nother 24 hours?  They have to be filled up with something, I suppose. Can't just leave them laying around, ticking into an empty eternity.

And.... what is this going to do to my calendar? Will my computer autosync?  Does this change the due dates on my bills??  And what about my meal plan, dammit?? Oh gawds, will this happen while the inlaws are visiting? I won't have a whole extra day with them, will I??  There's so much to think about, fret over, freak out over... why did you do this to me?? 

*and MT explodes in a fit of conflict and dandelion fluff*

(it's ok, I'm all better now)

Just ONE thing? Hrrmph!   How can you limit me so?  *overdramatic, put upon sigh*

Ok, Seriously.  I didn't join Zaadz to teach.  Been there, done that, and tore up the t-shirt to use as dust rags.  

But if I were going to teach something, it would be how to apply critical thinking while remaing open minded.  Yes, that's definitely it.

Or maybe it would be how to find actual humility by embracing your arrogance.  (I am horrifically arrogant, you know)

Oh, I know!! How to practice unconditional acceptance, love and tolerance, while maintaining personal and societal boundaries. 

Maybe how not to over intellectualize things. Or under intellectualize things.  How to keep your spiritual explorations from carrying you into the land of delusion.  

Or maybe.....

I'd offer a course on how to ritually tear up your guru-garb for dust rags.  

Now where did I put that organic furniture polish??

"Walking Woman" he called me. 
"Why do you call me that, old man?" I asked.
"Cause you always walking. Walk walk walk.
You keep walking, though.
You keep walking, you wear through shoes.
Keep walking, you wear through feet!
Keep walking, you get to soul!!"
.... and he burst into maniacal laughter.

I laughed too.

But I didn't laugh at my black patent leather Mary Janes.
With a buckle, just so.
To be worn *only* with white anklets with JUST the right white lace ruffle.

I was a very particular from a very young age; a prissy girly child, with very definite ideas of how my feet should look.  Even at 2 years old, appearance shaped image, image shaped action and reaction.

I'm still very image conscious and aware, sometimes absurdly. But in the business of art and writing, things must *look* right, appear right,  in order to create the right feel, the right reaction in others.  Appearance matters if you want to to communicate just so,  to be sure the right message comes across.

These days, I'm a wee bit more practical about my footwear and foundations, but I still fuss over image.   They have to be comfortable, support the message, and yet blend with beauty ..... I probably shouldn't answer these QaR's at 3am, though.  I ramble on far too much at this hour, and I'm not sure if I make sense even to myself.

Bored and disturbingly awake, I decided to go wandering Zaadz again tonight.  I glanced at a few pods and discussions, and too many  of them reminded me of why I walked away from my own spiritual community some years back.   Spiritual social climbers, intellectual one-upmanship, downright delusions, and system-specific jargon I could translate, but can no longer be bothered with... it's all chop wood, carry water, and hang out the laundry.

Then I ran across a post from about how offensive another discussion pod had gotten.  Being me (and being bored) I had to hunt it down, to see if it was worth dipping in chocolate and eating.  

My first stumbling search attempts here on Zaadz turned up nothing, so I resorted to Google. AhHA!! There they were...  a group called "Enlightened Bastards".  

 And, I have to admit... at least one of the threads did indulge in language most self-defined spiritualists would find offensive.  Sexually explicit, graphic, insulting, spiritually-inappropriate slang.  It's language which, in other circumstances, would offend me. 

But in a spiritual context, I loved it.  

I loved the humble arrogance, and the arrogant humility, too.

I loved the obnoxious devil may care sacred clown aspects.

I loved the implied mockery of the psuedo-spiritual elite.

I loved that I have no idea if the attitudes I saw there were intentional or not.... but that the regular participants were clearly, obviously, uproariously fun.

I may have found a new home, which is somewhat disturbing. 

But  I really dont think I'll be dipping it in chocolate and eating it anytime soon. 

I believe in Truth.  I believe in forces that rule existence, forces sometimes seen and named, sometimes unseen and unnameable.  I believe in rules that unite and rule those other rules, and I believe in mirrors reflecting mirrors into infinity until my mind boggles and trips over its own tangled neurons.  I believe I sometimes personify those forces and rules and mirrors, and I believe it helps me to begin to grasp a shadow of their natures, trying to understand them through metaphors of will and motivations and desires and emotions.  I believe in my experiences, if not my interpretations, and I believe in The-Thing-Which-Knowledge-Cannot-Eat.

And I believe  this all  means I believe in God.

I woke up with a novel and clear solution to a problem that had been spinning in my head.
Order UP!   I realize that makes little sense to anyone here, but... it makes perfect sense in my head. Where it's currently spinning.  ;)

After a bit of exploring, I may have finally settled on how I'll most likely use Zaadz... to remember some of my spiritual goals and groundings,  share stories and thoughts and memories and  music and other sappy info that isn't appropriate on the MindTweaks blog.   

There, I stay the anonymous bag-lady brain blogger.

Here, I have a spirit and soul, if not a face. 

So that's my intent.  

What's yours?

So, I finally did it!

After months of deliberation, ponderings and procrastination, I joined the Zaadz community.  And of course, my first act as an official Zaadz member is not to upload a photo, join a conversation, or otherwise contribute depth and meaning....

No...

My first official Zaadz act is to make a  blog post about how I finally joined Zaadz!  ;)

Now I'm off to explore.